So this is the kind of restaurant where as soon as you walk into the place you’re already having a mini panic attack. “Do I seat myself?” “Is there a hostess?” “Does someone take my order at the table?” WHAT DO I DOO!?! By the way, I might have been the only person left on Earth who had never been to Tijuana Flats, honestly I just thought it was
a nightclub for alien Mexicans expensive.
The menu was idiot proof, with each section split into the different types of Mexican food. Which honestly, is the same 10 ingredients put together in 500 different ways, and then they give each recipe some crazy name ending in the letter “A”. “Crapola”.
I ordered the quesadilla platter because I’m a child, and was pretty impressed, until I realized you have to pay for sides of sour cream and salsa. Of course they have an entire bar of various hot sauces no one cares about, but you have to be humping someone in the kitchen to get a dollop of sour cream. It cost me TWO MOTHER TRUCKING DOLLARS to get a side of sour cream and salsa. Maybe this Mexican experience is a little to authentic, because in the America I live in, a woman is entitled to AS MUCH MOTHER TRUCKING CONDIMENTS AS SHE GODDAMN WANTS!!!?!?
Honestly, I would much prefer the Quesadilla platter at Applebee’s, perhaps the most Mexican restaurant in the neighborhood.
So this is going to be another review, with me just ragging on some poor defenseless Asian restaurant. I used to love chinese, thai, and vietnamese food, but lately it doesn’t seem to do much for me.
Tonight I went to Pei Wei, which I was too happy about. I was really craving some meaty ribs and hearty mashed potatoes, so you can imagine why I would be let down by such light Asian cuisine.
I ordered a the honey chicken dish which also came with noodles and a spring roll. Honestly, restaurants at the mall food court put out better slop. The chicken resembled and tasted like the pink slime McNuggets I would find in a Happy meal, offering little flavor, besides the disappointing honey sauce that coated the outside. The spring roll was tasty but the only condiments offerer were a hot salsa mix, and a molten lava mustard sauce. What I really want were some of those little packages of duck sauce.
The worst part of the meal was the mountain of noodles the cooks had slapped onto my plate. Half the noodles resembled those crunchy straws that some Chinese Restaurants offer as an appetizer and the other half were nothing but a soggy imitation of Ramen noodles that had boiled for far too long.
Overall, I give the place a one out of five. The one, because they did have one of the futuristic soda machines, where you press a button on a touch screen and then choose sub flavors from there. Honestly, even the sprite that came out of the nozzle was off, but I’d seen one in a Daily Grace video, so you get the picture.
Despite this not so stellar review, I must confess that it might have been my negative attitude throughout the night, or my perpetual craving for cheese infused mashed potatoes that sent the meal down the toilet, because my parents seemed to be in some kind of euphoric state as the wolfed down their wonton soup and slathered volcano mustard sauce on their egg rolls.
Give it a try, and tell me what you think.
So most of you are probably like what the fudge…oooh fudge…man I’m really hungry right now..I did already have a chocolate milkshake…what’s one more? Ok focus Caroline. So most of you probably don’t know what DailyBooth is, since it’s one of those social networking sites that would be a D list celebrity. Like Facebook, Tumblr, and Youtube are Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Lu from Charlie’s Angels and DailyBooth is Kathy Griffin over on the Bravo Channel showing off her 40 year old nipples for attention.
It’s basically a website where you can take photos using your webcam or upload photos and add a caption. Then the photo goes into a live steam so virtually anyone with an account can see it, comment on it, and reply with their own picture. So imagine if all 1,000 of your Facebook friends, which of course you know all them personally, were all posting pictures of their prom, cat, and boobalicious tanning poses. Trust me it’s pretty overwhelming. Luckily there’s a button where you can pause the feed, but that always makes me existentially nervous. Like if I pause this live feed aren’t I pausing life? Can I ever truly catch up to the present?
I have made a DailyBooth account and currently have 3 followers. Peh he he. My pictures include me posing with cinnamon butter, me with a scarf, and me with a thick layer of grime. I post a picture everyday, and I actually mean everyday because it doesn’t take much effort at all to update.
The one thing I can’t seem to figure it out is if this website actually has a home page. You know if you click Tumblr in the left hand corner it takes you to the home page/dashboard. Well when I click the DailyBooth logo it just says. “Oh snap, an error occurred.” Is that supposed to be a joke, some sort of social commentary, or truly a program error that I am now giving away too much thought.
Overall I give the site a 2/5. Doesn’t offer much stimulation, because looking at an endless waterfall of ugly strangers’ pictures gets a little monotonous. Now maybe if they were all Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders….
For all of you who don’t know, Vidcon is a big YouTube convention out in California, where all the famous YouTubers like Daily Grace, Jenna Marbles, Mitchell Davis, and Courtneypants come out to meet their fans. There are booths, live shows, meet and greets, signings, and lots of nerds, cameras, and alcohol. Perfect combination right? Vidcon, responsible for most of the world’s porn.
Now if you know anything about me, you know that I’m a little obsessed with YouTube. I seriously considered a road trip behind my parents’ back to trek on out to L.A. So overall, I give Vidcon a solid 10.
However, I’m obviously not at Vidcon right now, since I’m sitting here typing this review. I just hope there’s lots of Vidcon vlogs so I can vicariously live through them, and brainwash myself into thinking those are actually my memories not just clips from a video. With that said, I give not being able to go to Vidcon, a big fat 0.
Minecraft (Modern Crack)
Since all my boyfriend talks about these days, and seems to love even more than me is Minecraft…I figured I better review it. By the way it’s Minecraft, not Mindcraft..oops.
So basically you start out with just a huge pile of dirt that you, guess what, mine. The entire game is blocky, down to the sand, stone, animals, and even you. You can either tear down or build with these blocks to create structures. And these structures, can literally be anything you want them to be, depending on how much time you’re willing to invest. Jayme for example, has constructed a MANSION. For real, it’s amazing. But then again he’s probably logged 24 hours into this game and actually plans out the design for each room with dimensions and everything.
I, on the other hand, would never have the patience to play a game like this. I’m pretty sure all of my Neopets are dead and I’ve been working on Mario Sunshine for Gamecube for a about a year now.
But I have to say it’s refreshing to see a game that isn’t based on war, killing people, and machine guns. This game, though it requires somewhat of an obsessive personality, encourages creativity, innovation, and dedication. I feel like Minecraft might be responsible for some future designers and architects….or not.
The one huge downside to this game is that it requires hours of attention. In a week and a half Jayme has torn down over 18,000 blocks. One block alone takes about 3 seconds. So let’s do the math. That’s 15 hours just spent on tearing down blocks, which doesn’t include putting them up, planning the design, collecting materials, or killing huge spiders and zombies. Oh didn’t I mention that? At night huge spiders and zombies come out.
The other minor problem with this game is that it encourages cow racism. In order to collect the necessary supply leather, you must kill cows. They make a horrible MOOOO when you kill them. But I usually just shove my face in the pillow and pretend to be somewhere else.
To have the game on your XBOX hard drive is between $10.00 and $20.00. So you choose…the almighty power that comes with being a creator or your freedom? The power is in your hands.
What did I just put in my mouth?
Here’s your mind. Here’s the gutter. Now, please, separate the two. No, I’m not referring to various male appendages, but Vietnamese food. At this point, I’m not sure which I’d rather have in my mouth. Let’s just move on to the review….Tonight I’m reviewing VIETNAMESE FOOD!
So, I’m not going to mention the name of the restaurant I dined at tonight, since I’m aware of my blog’s great influence. I wouldn’t want to be the reason they close down. Anyways, I ordered some meal called Pho, but it’s pronounced like Fah, or Foh, or whatever hurling sound you want to make.
Basically it’s a beef broth based soup with thinly sliced beef cutlets. But accompanying the soup was a tiny plate of something that belonged in the gardening sectioning of Home Depot. It looked like a tiny tree, some grass clippings, and the only recognizable thing was the jalapeños. They expected me to put this yard waste into my soup, and for some reason I did.
It tasted like a soapy tree. So I deservingly give it a rating of about negative five out of ten.
Then to top the night off, my dad accidentally swallowed the jalapeño I’d put into my soup, because I guess that’s what you do in Vietnam, and I thought I was going to have to do the heimlich. That would have been an interesting sight.
Dear Jenna and Grace, this girl Caroline Glenn is getting so much hate for putting up a video in Grace’s comedic style about what your video on Wednesday was gonna be about. She didn’t mean any harm. I just wanna say that you guys know the best way to deal with internet hate. It’d be really awesome if you saw this.
I just found this, and I have to say “THANK YOU!” You are pretty fracking amazing to reach out to them on my behalf.
With that in mind, tonight I want to review something kind of different, and that is cyber bullying. For those of you who don’t know, I posted a video last week making predictions of what the new Jenna Marbles video would be about. Some people got it and thought it was funny, and some people seemed to have watched a totally different video and hated it. So about half the comments were really mean and the other half were defending me.
All I have to say is that over the years I’ve built a thick skin that can handle that kind of stuff so I didn’t really care. But just the fact that some people will take time out of their day to be mean to others really disturbs me.
I’ve recently witnessed another case of cyber bullying, which involves Courtneypants and her campaign for King of the Web. Many people are posting terribly mean comments on her videos and even sending her death threats via Facebook.
I think when it comes to the internet there are two basic rules to follow: 1.) Don’t type it if you wouldn’t say it to their face. 2.) If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Yep, I just quoted Bambi.
So thank you so much to those who have defended me and especially to this amazing follower!
I’m so happy, I could puke.
Tonight since I’ve been kicked out of my room so my grandmother can sleep, I’ve got nothing better to do than review…..MY GRADUATION!…which was today by the way.
So the other week my parents were telling me how they had nearly no recollection of their graduation at all. Well I on the other hand, will always remember my graduation. Let me tell you why.
First of all let me preface by saying, a hot summer day and I don’t always do so well together, and then you throw in a 100% polyester ankle length gown and you have a recipe for premenopausal heat stroke.
I don’t know why but my family thought you had to be at the Fairgrounds at 8:00 AM. Since we were actually 30 minutes early, that meant we had to STAND in the boiling sun for half an hour. Only cute little grannies seemed to be getting any sympathy, and were allowed to enter the building. This is why it’s important to get your high school diploma, because I’m pretty sure none of those Fair workers had a degree in anything besides the history of food on a stick.
When we finally got into the building, I was hit with an avalanche of air conditioning. Here’s another tidbit for you, the hot sun plus rocky mountain air conditioning plus me also do not go well together. It goes without saying, my body was freaking the frack out.
Since graduation was planned to start promptly at 9:00, it made perfect sense to not have it commence until 9:30. Duh. At this point, I’ve been STANDING in four-inch heels for an hour total, again, in a 100% polyester robe.
Once the orchestra began to play the commencement music, my body started to revolt. It was pissed. I’m walking in and I can feel the wave of nausea consuming my body. I start gagging as I walk into the stadium. Frantically, I looked around to make some sort of plan to figure out what I would do if I start hurling. There were some defenseless fake plants placed to my left that would have been easy targets. Luckily, my family had no clue that I was about to upchuck and thought I was merely getting emotional. Nice save, Caroline.
The best part of looking like you’re about to throw up, is looking at people’s faces looking at you. That’s when I caught Mr. Givens eye. As I passed him, I put my hand on his shoulder and said in the most serious voice I could muster up, “I need water.” With a quick nod of his head, he dashed out of the stadium. Not two minutes later, he hand delivered the most beautiful bottle of water I had ever seen in my life. And I don’t say that to all the water bottles.
After that it was smooth sailing, besides the fact that I was about to shit my pants the entire ceremony. They even said my name correctly, “Caroline” not “Carolyn”.
I don’t know about you, but I will always remember the day I graduated.
Well another one of my YouTube Idols replied to me. So today I’m going to review this fabulous woman…Michelle Vargas!
Michelle is the other half of the YouTube channel “GracenMichelle”. She met Grace Helbig (Daily Grace) in college and then they were roommates for a while after that. Back in the day, the two of them did regular vlogs on a measly webcam. Even after the two of them went their separate ways, they still made hilarious videos together fairly often. The GracenMichelle channel has just over 33,000 subscribers and more than 2 million video views.
Michelle also has two other channels on YouTube, one which is a personal blog which she usually covers popular songs (she has a beautiful voice) and her most famous one “FartWithHeadPhonesOn” which is as she describes it “a delicate blend of fart jokes and inspiration”. FartWHO, as she calls it, has over 10,000 subscribers and almost 400,000 video views.
Michelle has always been involved in the film industry. She started off filming and editing wedding videos and eventually had her own freelance editing company, which has been very successful. Recently though, she decided to become a life coach, which involves supporting people and showing them they are capable of accomplishing their goals. Also, she is the author of an E-Book “Free Your Awesome Guide”.
Michelle is a different kind of YouTuber. Not everything has a punchline; sometimes she just wants to sit down and have a serious talk. I admire her because she was able to turn a fun hobby (recording vlogs with her best friend) into a successful career. The links to all her various pages are below.
The YouTube Clique
Recently it seems that all the demigods of YouTube have banded together and created one huge supergroup. For those of you who don’t spend 75% of your day on the internet, but since you have a Tumblr you probably do, I’ll try to sum up some of my observations. You’ll notice, most of this revolves around DailyGrace, as does my existence.
- DailyGrace hosts MyDamnChannelLive every Thursday.
- Mitchell Davis was on MyDamnChannelLive where they took shots of ketchup, mustard, and seltzer.
- Mitchell Davis has been on the Monday episode of DailyGrace for the past three Mondays in a row, although I’m pretty sure they were all filmed on the same day, unless those are the only outfits they own.
- Mitchell Davis was on an episode of Mamrie Hart’s YouDeserveADrink, which is filmed and edited by Grace.
- Grace and Mamrie were on an episode of MyDamnChannelLive where they took flaming shots of butter beer. Also, Mamrie announced she’s getting her own web series on MyDamnChannel in fall 2012.
- Mamrie had Hannah Hart as a guest star on YouDesreveaDrink.
- Hannah Hart was on an episode of MyDamnChannelLive with Grace,and what did they do? Got drunk!
- DailyGrace was in this weeks’ episode of MyDrunkKitchen, where they attempted to make macaroni salad but mostly just got drunk.
- Awhile back MyDrunkKitchen did a tribute on how to trick people into thinking you’re Jenna Marbles.
- Hannah did this because Jenna had done a hilarious tribute to MyDrunkKitchen.
- About five minutes ago, Jenna uploaded a picture to tumblr of Hannah Hart via Instagram.
- Hannah Hart did an episode called “My drunk closet” which featured the girls from Emotistyle.
- Emotistyle tried to give Grace some fashion advice on an episode of DailyGrace.
And we’ve come full circle. Did you follow that at all?
Today I’m going to review this!!! ^^^^
If you don’t know who CourtneyPants is you are probably very empty inside, and if you’re currently standing on a ledge, I would just jump. She is internet famous for her YouTube channel CourtneyPants, with over 80,000 subscribers and almost 6 million video views. So that makes this the best day of my life!
She’s known for her out there personality, obsession with unicorns, addiction to kettle corn, unique vocabulary, and a strange fascination with pooptay pooptay. The very first video I ever watched of Coutney’s was one where she told us the story of how she shit her pants. Great first impression, no really that’s what I look for in a person. So if you guys ever wondered where the term “shit storm” came from, this is the place. After watching CourtneyPants, you will literally be shitting your pants.
This is actually the person who inspired me to start pro biking. I watched a couple bike vlogs and the next day just decided to go on an 8 mile bike ride. In addition to biking, she is a freakin’ health guru. In high school she used to be much heavier, and found the strength to get healthy. She lives in California so you’d expect her to be a health nut, but she even takes that to the next level.
While Courtney is a hoot to watch, she’s also not afraid to be have a serious talk, which usually takes place in “Coutney’s Crying Corner” where all the dead hookers live. She’s opened up to her viewers about her weight loss journey, trichitillomania which she suffers from, and the loss of her mother. I’ve cried many times with this girl, even though she’s 3,000 miles away.
You can see, by how she responded to my comment of Facebook, Courtney, despite the fact that she probably gets hundreds a day, actually reads the comments people leave and responds to them. She appreciates her fans more than most YouTubers.
So guys!! You need to go watch and subscribe to CourtneyPants. Links below.
So Wednesday night, I spent about 2 hours filming and editing my video for YouTube. Then when I tried to finalize it on iMovie a mean little error message popped up that said “No room in heap zone.” That’s a technical term apparently.
First I sought help from a Mac expert, Juanita. Well there was a big misunderstanding and she thought I said “Heat Zone”. So after some carefully googling, she told me that my computer might just be overheated. It wasn’t until about an hour later that we realized the two of us were on completely different pages.
The next day I called the Apple store and talked to a genius. But I couldn’t do that until I registered my Apple Care Protection Plan, otherwise the phone call alone would have cost me $49.00. The genius came to the conclusion that my Flip Cam video might have been corrupted, which can happen randomly and explains why the Flip Cam enterprise went out of business. He advised that I download something called Handbrake which is a program that converts files. Well this application despite its witty sense of humor (after the conversion is complete you get a message that say”Put down that Margarita, your video’s ready!”) did absolutely nothing.
So then I, the true genius, decided to take action. I opened up QuickTime player, and did a screenshot recording while my video played, then I took an audio recording while it played again. Then I took these two components and slapped them together in iMovie. So after about 5 hours of work, I finally got the video up on YouTube.
So go watch it!
**Why do the people at Apple take such long pauses during conversations on the phone. He would ask “What’s your name?” and I’d say “Caroline” and 20 minutes later he’d say “Well Caroline…” What the…
Being Skinny Isn’t Always Fun
A couple of weeks ago, my mom and dad were telling me how seats at a hockey game are the worst. Apparently they’re made for premature babies, that’s how small they are. They were complaining that heftier people find the seats really uncomfortable and have a hard time getting in and out of them. These people don’t know how good they have it.
Whenever I’m sitting somewhere particularly uncomfortable, I always wish I was fatter. How comfy would it be if I was the size of a sumo wrestler, with all this extra padding to fill out those hard plastic seats. Plus, if you’re the kind of fat where it looks like you’re pregnant all the time, your tummy is easily used as a tabletop.
Just today I was trying to get comfortable at a desk and chair, but for the life of me could not find a position that didn’t bring about incredible pain. I’m not skinny, I consider myself “pointy”. I have very pointy edges: elbows, fingers, knees, hips, shoulders. This leads to my bones to rubbing up against the plastic material, causing major discomfort.
So this might have really pissed you off, reading about how a girl wishes she wasn’t so skinny because it makes sitting in chairs a chore, but whatever. Just for one day, I’d like to be able to sit in a chair with my big squishy belly and cottage cheese cellulite legs and not feel a thing. Is that so much to ask?
Being a Woman Isn’t Fun
Although I wouldn’t trade being able to pick out a beautiful wedding dress instead of wearing a black tux like every other man in the room, having a hairstyle besides “It’s on my head, what more do you want?”, or the rainbow versus the only acceptable colors for me to paint my room are blue and green, there are times when the opportunity to be a Victoria Secret Angel just isn’t worth it.
There should be a “Clock-Out” button for life, when Auntie Flow comes to town. I don’t know about you, but I am out of commission for about 7 days, one time it was 11. The only remedy for me is to curl up in bed in the fetal position, and unfortunately they don’t make chairs in that shape, and it’s not usually acceptable to lie on the floor in public places.
I would also like to be a man sometimes, so I could show them the proper way to deal with a girl who’s on her period.
Here’s what not to say:
1.) “If it happens once a month, shouldn’t you be used to it by now?” Good theory. So if I keep kicking you in the balls, eventually you’ll stop crying? Let’s test it.
2.) “I don’t see any other girls get this way when they’re on their period.” Really? Because unless you’re a mormon, you should only know the intensity of one girl’s period, your significant others.
This is what you should do:
1.) “You look so pretty.”
2.) Here’s some flowers/chocolate/jewelry/cards/stuffed animals/forever21 gift cards/fatty fried foods, just because.
3.) Install a little bell in her room for her to ring whenever she needs advil, a heating pad, a pillow fluff, or a shoulder to cry on.
4.) Be willing to go to the store and buy her pads and tampons. That is the definition of true love.
5.) Never undermine the pain she is going through. Unless you want to shove a watermelon out of your penis down the line, I’d shut up.
6.) Learn from Ashton Kutcher. Make your girl a period mix CD.
Reblog this so these dumbass men will learn.
Being Old Isn’t Fun
This morning I woke up to a beautiful day peeping through my window. The rays of sunshine gently coaxed me out of my slumber. I slowly opened my sleepy eyes to let them adjust to the light, and when I opened them I was greeted by a flock of bluejays who seemed to sing “Good Morning”. I lifted my arms to stretch, and when I cocked my head to the side…POP!
I’m pretty sure one of the vertebrates in my spine detattached itself and is currently swimming around my body. I threw out my freakin’ neck. I didn’t even know that was possible. Perhaps I pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve, but honestly why does this always happen to me. I’m the girl whose earring gets stuck in her ear, her boyfriend elbows her in the throat by accident which leads it to swell to unbelievable heights, gets a staff infection the size of a golfball on her leg, falls into a pit fire, gets her toe shut in a door and then the nail proceeds to fall off, and now I’ve broken my neck.
When it happened I was actually afraid I had paralyzed myself. I could just picture the career of TLC documentaries to come. I laid in my bed, and cried for help. I was stranded. No one could hear me and I couldn’t reach anything. I managed to pick up my head, literally I grabbed the back of my head and pried it off the pillow, and walked out to the kitchen to tell my dad the horrific incident that had occurred. It was only 9:30 AM, and I’d already experienced a horrific incident…
The entire day, I’ve switched off between ice and the heating pad. Advil has been my friend but with very little benefits. I think we should be just friends again. I tried putting on what I thought was IcyHot but it turned out to be Vick’s Vapor Rub. What the hell? Am I trying to decongestify my neck?
I connect this event specifically to being 18. I am an old person, and this is officially the first old person thing to happen to me. I’ll probably break a hip in the shower next week. Luckily my shower actually has those metal handles in it, because the people who built this house anticipated old rickety women living here.